Hairy is totally bored and horny during the summer and wants to go to Hogmeat, an all jizzarding village near the Hogballs Academy of Fucking. He is dissapointed by the lack of talent (ie no babes) at Hogmeat and flips out, exploding an old man's old balls with his phallic wand.
Now on the run from the law, Hairy hitches a ride in the Bang Bus where he plows some nice hole and learns that that Seriously Black has been Pissin' on Azkaboobs. Hairy next encounters Cornholio Fudge Tunnel, who doesn't punish Hairy for blowing up old balls, altho Hairy does have to spend some time at the Leaking Oily Discharge Cauldron.
Hairy then goes back to school and plays a lot of his favorite game, Queef-itch.
Hairy also can't get enough of that juicy Hogmeat, going back several times and also frequents the Shrinking Sack, a constantly shrinking house made of testicle skin.
Eventually, Hairy gets into some problems with Professor Lupenis, a were-cunt (tranvestite wolf) and the evil Snapenis and a map and his dead parents and then Hairy goes back in time and saves a Hippospliff named Fuckbeak or some dumb shit.
Finally it is revealed that Black was Hairy Pooter's parent's pimp, who whored them out like a couple of dirty magical hookers. Black then asks if Hairy would like to star in his next movie, Black's Big Stick and Three White Chicks. But Black is jailed for pedophilia before they can get started and writes Hairy love letters from jail every day. What a gay wad.
The End.
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