Year 5: The Orgy of the Fetus

It’s another boring summer and Hairy wonders why he now has hair where there was no hair before. He asks his neighbor Areola Fagg what the extra hair is for and the end up enmeshed together in an all night suck and fuck fest.

After drilling and pounding and licking into the wee hours of the night, Hairy is summoned by a homosexual owl to the Orgy of the Fetus.

“What is this, some kind of sick joke, I’m supposed to orgy with fetuses?” asked the inquisitive young teenaged boy wizard. “That’s sick you demented fucks.”

“No Hairy,” said Hugemione, Hairy’s busty friend, “it’s actually the Orgy of the Three Dicks. That was a typo we made printing the invitations.”

“How did you mistype ‘three dicks’ as a ‘fetus’? Don’t you mean mispronounced or something?”

“Hairy, quite stalling. Now you’ve got a lot of frotting to do, which is why I assembled these two other boners here.”

“Oohhhh, not the Measly twins,” groaned young Hairy, “their pathetic dicks live up to their equally pathetic name.”

“Enough bitching, Hairy, it’s time to bump cocks. Now get that magical ‘wand’ of your fully turgid and start penis fencing.”

“Wait, it is the orgy of the three dicks – what are you doing here?”

“I’m here to watch, faggot.”

And so Hairy and the Measly brothers rubbed their glanses together while Hugemeonies diddled her little twat until they are interrupted by Clotores Umbitch. Clotores has taken over the Hogballs School because she is an evil deadly robo bitch.

Clotores is also racsist against half giants and centaurs and every other kind of freak that is hanging out at Hogballs and really starts to piss everyone off. Unfortunately she’s really good at being a cunt and Hogballs is full of pussy wizards and no one can do shit while she runs rampage all over their lame asses.

Finally, Hairy musters the sack to take on Clotores and in some crazy irony, Clotores is defeated BECAUSE of her hatred for freaks when a bunch of Centaurs fuck her up. And that’s crazy because it is well established that Clotores HATES centaurs.

Anyway, surprise surprise, it was all some red herring set up by Loud Voldofart who is trying once again to screw Hairy’s pooper.

And once again, Dombledork eventually gets off his fat fucking lazy ass and helps Hairy nearly vanquish Voldofart once and almost for all.

Before settling in for another long boring summer, Hairy assembled Hugemeonies, Gyna, Rod’s sister who subbed in for Hairy in the game of Queefitch, and Eta Skeeta, who writes a newspaper.

“Ladies, since I am, like, the raddest wizard kid in the world, I will now ask something of all of you,” said Hairy.

“Yes, Hairy,” they said, “We are all so impressed by your big fat magical wand, we’ll do whatever you say.”

“Then you know what I want. I want to see some tribbing.”

“You mean vagina on vagina rubbing? Clit-clatting?”

“That’s right, damn it. Now get busy, those gashes aren’t going to mash themselves.”

The end.